Some friends always say I am so optimistic about things; I am not, I am also very afraid of ending, but most the time I ignore the ending so that I can look forward to the beginning. This will be my last post of the decade. I still remember when the century ends I was in Lombok with Brigitta, then I was alone looking into the horizon waiting for the beautiful sun to set on the beach looking in Bali's Mt Agung. That was one of the most beautiful moment I have had, alone ! Then I was only journaling in my "blue book" (blog ? what is blog then ? I was just being introduce to emails.. hahaha) which I still keeps the habit of writing. The 'blue book' gathers some of the most private of my thoughts, the most heart wrenching of all thoughts; may be one day when it is right I will share it.
I always hurry to end because I am afraid to face the moment it ends. This time I am slowing down totally to let it comes. Exercising the patience I am still learning to master. A lot of times during year ends we make resolutions and wishes. But how often do we really execute our resolutions ? Resolutions will always remain resolutions. I prefer to look at the beginning and works toward the end. But I do wish, because in wishes I just let the universe helps me to make my actions real !
It really shock me that '09 draws the end of another decade. Not the past one year, but the past 10 years; well the past 10 years had been a decade of excitements, personally and professionally. My spiritual journey begins then and now I am more awaken about who I am. I hope the next decade will marks the maturity of my spiritual well being together with my soul. I hope when the next decade ends, I am already home and enjoying the warm and coziness of being at home.
see you next decade .. carpe diem !
** just as I off my reading lights 5 mins ago, I was attracted by this little ray of light on the floor and I know it comes from the window, so I thought its some neighbors light. But to my surprise it's the moonlight ! ! yesterday was full moon ... the last time I saw sucha bright moon in the middle of the night is I remember when I was in Perhentian island, I was not feeling well I woke up and went to the washroom and upon return to my bed, and as usual I always let a window or the door balcony door opens to allow me to see the sea ... I saw the most beautiful setting moon in the horizon .. the sea ! it's so mystical that I just sat there for like 10 mins admiring the moment before I went back to bed (cause I remember that time I was having food poisoning weak stomach) **
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