on this day ..

There are a few things I want to write and as usual I am trying to sum up further inspiration to expand my thoughts. One being today is my Mom’s birthday unfortunately we are unable to celebrate her 67^th birthday with her last year. She left us on the morning of her birthday. Some people or some stories could be true, some may not believe it but this one is real. She come and leave on the same day same month. And she left without much suffering further, though she had endure more before this.

I want to dedicate this paragraph and sum up everything to officially close this chapter ( I certainly hope to but I can’t force my heart) of my mourning. There’s already much being said about her, and me being me; has kept so many things inside and not sharing with anyone nor acknowledging the pain. I will always remember and love her, she will always be in my heart. No other love … I miss you and I will be strong to carry on, though my life has never been a smooth sailing before this. I hope things will only get better when my heart is at peace and found home.

Well just as I was having a quite Saturday afternoon not knowing what to do or where to be; television can be the best company one could have. “Holiday in Handcuff” don’t really know who’s the lead but decided to just watch anyway. As the story continues , a thought came. The things that we want so much or already had, are they the things that we REALLY want ? Every so often, our conscious mind manipulate our thoughts and keep assuring us that this is what we want, and there is where want to be … so on and so forth. But when we are there, had what we wanted, may be some will think. IS this really what I want ? People can be blinded by a blur vision of desire and not really seeing things as it should be. Its amazing when we allow ourselves to stop for a while and let the heart see instead of the eye, our heart can see much more clearer then our eyes. Some of us lives in a perfect world without any hitches; some of us works hard for our future and some are just content with what they have. Which are you ? DO you know what you want ? and are those you have now, are what you want in the first place ?

I am still working hard for what I want and will never feel contented because a life with contentment is too smooth sailing for me.