touching base

Dinner tonight with the gang, people that I have known for more then 30 years, was relaxing and also a way for me to come back to reality and being myself. The quiet me. It's so natural that you know you can be yourself with them, there is no need to wear any kind of mask; they are my anchor just when I think I am floating away, just when I need to stay balance, just when I think I just need some company. The girls are as usual ever talkative and complaining but that's the fun part as well as the string that pulls me back when I am drifting out in the open sea.

It's not a very spectacular night, just some plain and simple dinner, seeing the faces and happily chatting away, with the little boy getting all the attentions *_* these are the people I can be myself and need not be weary of any hidden agendas. These are the people that do no care who I am in the society, what I am. They are just there for life !

And during the chat, my mind kept flying far away in the universe. Patience and Mom .. the 2 words that rings ! A friend had problems with patience with her Mom who is diagnose with breast cancer and are undergoing chemotherapy, I use to be exactly like her. Losing my patience, but now I don't have that chance anymore. Mom left a year ago on Dec 19th ... we did not have the chance to celebrate her birthday cause she left us on her birthday. My mind had been flashing back what happens a year ago... the pain of losing her on the morning of her birthday ... I did not allow myself enough time to mourn and heal, cause I want to offer myself as example to everyone that its ok and we should continue to be strong and live on ... but I am not inside here. It still hurts me alot. And soon her birthday is here again. I don't know whether I can be that strong to let things pass and to truly move on.

But I am glad today I am able to be myself infront of the girls, listening to them complaining about their husband, mom and son ! It's just simple, pleasant though none concerns me.

how long did you touch base since ? perhaps its time now .. don't you think so ?