dinner at home

Yeap today marks the new journey of my life .. can't think of any words nor sentence to describe the next phase. Blank everything is just blank, its like I am still over coming a certain in life. Confusion is a wonderful state to be in before clarity, so meanwhile all I have to do is just enjoy the moment now. With people I love and value alot, framily !

Until then when I have the inspiration to write, thanks for the wishes !

True or false , yes or no, he or she, good or bad ?

It is sometimes very frustrating for me when I don't get the other party to be frank with me. May be its fully and entirely my fault that I do not see things in the grey area and is not sensitive enough to realize the grey area's existence at all. That between true and false there is may be, between yes or no there could be, between he or she there is ??? hahahaha .. anyway.

I am most frustrated that why are people not able to be frank and wants to elude honesty. Or is it me that is being out loud and no realizing that they are people who like to lay real low. Perhaps, may be, could be ! Just a matter of choice or preference the way we live our lives makes us, US.

Some people are just so expressive, some are just repressing their feelings. Why ? I just couldn't understand. My mind always keep looking for the reason trying to understand the ever so complex human mind. Studying of human behavior is so confusing and ever never ending. Then again it is very intriguing to learn that our mind are so complex and mysterious that of the billions of mind in this world, there is NON which is of the same, how wonderful and complicated.

I always always enjoy provocative discussion and trying to busy body myself to understand WHY ? What is in the mind, in that moment, the reasons behind and why this way. I am also absorbing the problems of the world into mine. Always absorbing problem of others into my own.. erm cannot be say so, I will always put myself in the other persons mine and try to figure out how would I react on this situation if I am this person. Of course there is no similar outcome or result that would come out from either parties because no one is the same. Never not even twins.

I am always a curious person, trying to experience everything is my nature. So what is your nature ? What are you ? The good or bad ? Yes or no ? The saint or evil ? Well it is just avery fine thin line to define that. And most often when that fine line is tip, we would cross over the other side and be totally the opposite.

I guess only you, the involved one would know better, who you are ?

Tears

I was watching a vdo interview about a famous celebrity who talks about her tears, her career path, her initial struggle as a singer, her love life, her buddy friends and parents. A total of only 11 tear drops. She must be lucky to have only 11.

It makes me think, how many tears have I shed ? How many tears have you shed ? Our love, our careers, our life, our parents, our friends etc etc. I think with all the adversities that is thrown to me thus far, I have shed more then 11 drops. I guess one day when we have been through every single lesson thrown to us, been there, done that and come out still in one piece, we will be able to look back and count our tears, that will certainly be more then 11 drops.

Tears shed for love not meant to be, tears shed for a miscalculation on a career move, tears shed on the struggle of acceptance, tears shed on the endless failure and trials of life. It is this tears that will mold us who we will be and meant to be.

Tears that comes from the core of your being, the centre of existence, your heart ! Tears that comes from the heart out will hurts you deeper then the tears that comes from the head.

One of the tear that wreck me so deep thus far is the lost of a most wonderful person in my life, she had been the power that supports me without any complain nor comment, only by just being there ALL the time, every time. The other tears is that person who had completely tear down my solidly assemble brick wall. Shredding me to pieces and forcing me to slowly move up and be more attune to my heart and soul. I thank both for their tears !

Well of course there are more tears that I had shed but even though how hard it is, I repeat my earlier post here, faith and hope keeps a man/woman alive to carry on the journey.

Cynthia Nixon' speech

I was browsing through news and saw this video, Cynthia Nixon's speech

She gave a very inspiring speech and also touches deep into my heart. That why are we constantly living in fear, why are colors, gender, sexuality or religion issues being so politicize ! And being deny in certain societies and cultures.

It really frustrated to read news about issues on race, gender, religious or sexuality ! Why are the majority of people so depriving of the minorities ? It is so absurd to deny any person their very basic right. And most the time, the world is always not fair !

So is it about time to change ?

FAITH or FATE ?

I was being tested again, faith or fate ? It is always this way, just when we lose our faith and hope, just when we want to give up and thought that we would have lost the battle, opportunity arises and change the whole game plan thus giving us back our faith, reminds us that all is not lost yet.

All the great man that live before us, Edison, Emerson, Wright brothers, Bell had never give up even when fate are against them. All that is in their mind, just one more time, one last time ! Keeping the faith in their heart and mind all the time. Isn't life suppose to be such ? Just when you think its time to throw the towel, just when you want to give up and call it a day ! Just when you say to yourself 'Thats it". But it never were to be, for those of you who are always a warrior, always charging and always full of hope and courage. It is just always too soon to quit.

I was being reminder of my faith recently when I almost give up and throw the towel. I surrender my fate to the universe, I have no more ideas of what's next. I have consumed up all my energy and my brain cells to plan for the best strategy, to visions the outcome of the fight. I can't I was totally blocked for a moment ! I guess some times when we want to fight so hard to win a battle we forget that the result is beyond our control and that we should always keep our faith ! By having faith in what we do .. we keep the hope alive ! We keep going keep moving. As the archer would do, when he has lost the confidence he would pick up his bow and arrow again, focus and strike one more time, again and again until the arrows hits the bulleye !

In this trying times of economy down turn and slow moving market, everyone of us are constantly being test on our faith and hope, I just hope that you too will stay around and keep the faith in your heart and remember that at the end of the tunnel, there is light !

Just hang in there ! Just as I am ...

meet me in Bangkok if you happen to be around

I will be attending/exhibiting in this weekend's Thailand Dive & Travel Expo. This is an annual event for me to meet up with friends from the industry local and regional. Also at the same time to make new one, come and meet us up, share your adventures with me !

Calvin and me will be at the booth with our Thai colleague Khun Poo, our GM(Google Map, as Calvin always relates) in Bangkok.

I'll try to post some pic in my facebook and here about Thailand's ever delightful and interesting food while I am there, if I still have the energy to do so :0

Meanwhile, I hope you will have a great week and give yourself a minute and think of the 512 Sichuan, a year on. May everyone find peace, the dead and alive !

For more information of Thailand Dive & Travel Expo click here

NO cigarette butt please ....

There is always one thing that makes me soooo frsutrated about this particular topic is divers even instructors who claim to be so experience and pioneers in the diving industry BUT never cares to see that their own bread and butter is being jeopardise ! The only excuse they have is .. ITS bio degradable ... rubbish, bleeeh ! SO ignorant ...

Friday, May 1, 2009

Cigarette Butts Toxic to

Marine Life

New SDSU research shows that left-over chemicals leach into the environment and kill fish.

Story Highlights

• Cigarette butts an environmental danger
• Are cigarette butts hazardous waste?
• About the Cigarette Butt Advisory Group

Every year billions of cigarette butts end up on our beaches and in the ocean

By Gina Jacobs

Everyone knows smoking cigarettes is hazardous to their health, but a new study shows that cigarette butts can be just as dangerous for the environment. SDSU public health researcher Richard Gersberg evaluated the effects left-over cigarette butts have on marine life and found that the chemicals from just one filtered cigarette butt had the ability to kill fish living in a one-liter bucket of water.

Gersberg's study used three types of cigarette butts:

• Smoked filtered cigarettes without tobacco
• Smoked filtered cigarettes with tobacco
• Clean un-smoked filtered cigarettes

In all cases, about half of the fish were killed with a very low concentration of cigarette butts.

"The most important finding in this research is that it seems to be the filter, or rather what's in the left-over filter that is most dangerous to our water," Gersberg said.

Cigarette filters are made of cellulose-acetate, which is not readily biodegradable.

An estimated 1.69 billion pounds of butts wind up
as litter worldwide each year.

Cigarette Butts Are Hazardous Waste

In response to these new findings, the national Cigarette Butt Advisory Group (CBAG) has made the recommendation that cigarette butts be placed on the list of hazardous waste.

"Each year, billions of cigarette butts end up on our beaches, and in our oceans, lakes and rivers," said Tom Novotny, chair of CBAG and professor of public health at SDSU. "Based on this new research, we believe that cigarettes should be considered toxic waste and new requirements need to be established for how they are disposed."

According to Novotny's recent article in theInternational Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, an estimated 1.69 billion pounds (845,000 tons) of butts wind up as litter worldwide per year. In addition, the annual Ocean Conservancy's International Coastal Cleanup reports that "cigarette butts have been the single most recovered item since collections began."

Link here : http://www.sdsuniverse.info/sdsu_newscenter/news.aspx?s=71209

Who you truly are ?

I am reading Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth last night and again just now, I was fascinated by this chapter 'Finding who you truly are'. Let me ask you have you been able to do that ? Tolle's explanation is that most people fear to find themselves as they fear that the result would come out to be bad, which is true. Because we fear the result we avoid the test or the search. But somehow, we are in this journey of learning getting into lesson and learning who we are, it is a journey of finding who we are, who am I ?

There is a difference of knowing about ourself and knowing ourself. To know things about ourself and to truly know who we are ! I have have been trying and struggling to be a better person, to know myself and also about myself. To know things about myself will lead me to know more about who I am. Some people are able to get through it immediately, some like me have to go through over again to know the real me.

I don't know until to day who I truly am, I am constanlyt in search of who I am, what is my purpose here. Every being come into this world is not without a purpose, we compliment each other and there is always another soul out there who is your second half, who is the soul that will balance your existence in this world. All I know is there are plenty of lesson thrown to me daily, just like this morning a radio station was playing this celebrity's pledge to stay positive in every aspect of our life. Problems or not you still have them daily, you cannot live without nor can you finish it once and for all, problems are there everyday, no one can run away from it. So with or without stay happy and stay positive, take in one by one !

Back track again, who you truly are ? Who are you ? I am zahir, the being that is here by chance given the opportunity to see and learn, to feel and listen, to act and love, to be in this incredible journey as the warrior of light in search of my destiny. I am currently madly and obsessively following an intriguing love story, a provoking tale of 2 person in love but are pressure by the people in their surrounding. It is an unusual love story that had captured my overloaded mind and life of which is evolving so much in me NOW. But the story takes lead for a while and have my daily attention for a daily dose of reading. It is a forbidden love story of 2 persons from the same society but are not approved by their so call community. Then again it is still premature to conclude what the outcome is. One is openly professing love for the other meanwhile the other is still elusive of any solid answers to the status.

I wonder what is the truth behind the procrastination ? Have she found herself ? Or is she finding herself ? I would like to follow this story to the end, though I never know how it will ends. The other must find the courage to find who she truly is and always LOVE knows no boundaries; as I have written earlier, no race, no gender, no color, no age differences ! Irregardless of the ending, the journey so far is captivating enough for me to tag along. I am trying to see how this will helps me in finding who I am, the universe will provides me hints and signs to go where my heart leads me.

Who are you then ?

Happy Mother's Day

I am going to re-post this note i wrote in facebook that I wrote few days back.

It's just around the corner, I am sure everyone of you is planning where to go for the night, what to do for the weekend etc etc etc.

I guess all this is just a small matter to her little warm heart, what matters most is how long she can see you in a day, how many smile she sees in your eyes, how you have become a better person. All these little things will light up her life much sweeter then a grand dinner party or a huge bouquet every year; 365 days, 52 weeks, 12 months ?

Stop scratching your head or plan for the great escape or surprise dinner, instead starting from this moment .. give her a hug everyday, or smile at her when u back home, or just hold her hand, let her feel yours. Or a simple act of just being there, sitting next to her and enjoy a quiet TV series together.

I love you Mum ! and I miss you too !

Cheat / Deceit / Betrayal or any name you may call it

It suddenly came into my mind when a long time friend warn me about trusting .. be it a business partner or any other business relationship.

I don't agree with in principle but I remember I am the one who warn him when he first started his joint venture business, that he should be vary about his partner. Not to trust too much. Then he is a very happy go lucky person and just started his business. It is good that we trust, I am the one who warn him then. But now he in turn warns me back. Why ? He had been cheated by his business partner and the business ended bitterly. He is much much more careful now. Then again it make me think deeply, if I am being cheated by my current business partner; will I have hatred in him ? or will I just let things be and not be bother by it too much ? Well I can confidently says that I will be in deep hatred if he did cheats on me, 3 years back !

The new me now is a different person. I think the 'zahir' had awaken me and allows me to totally STOP and flush out all my toxicity. I am able to relate to the universe much more and be connected spiritually more often as compare to what I used to be. I have learned the most important lesson that no matter how we are being treated we should always remain who we are, being true to ourself, true to the moment and always with our heart ! If my business partner were to cheat me, I think I will forgive him because I totally believe that what goes around will always comes around. Our karma will be repay if not now it will be in the future. I never believe it when I am younger, perhaps age has play an important influence in my thinking and decision, I had mellow down a little.

Somehow this phrase which I forgot where I read it " Life is about how much one can endure and still come out unspoiled of it" This is a beautiful phrase that reminds us no matter how bad or worst a situation may brings us we should always maintain who we are and not be spoil by the situation.

Are you or are you not ?