The End ? Dead End ?

I was trying to find a topic to write again when I chat with this new young friend whom I met at a forum. A little story sharing, she was quite upset and worry about her studies, applications to university and college and everything seems stuck dead end ! So I told her to take it easy, leave the things a while and let it unfold by itself. Just let it be if you have no control over it. No I am not encouraging you to not take actions but when you seems to have done all that you can do and that the result is not what you want it to be, then just leave it for a moment and who knows it will unfold by itself. If then still nothing, we will then consider the alternative. She did and few days later she had all the luck on her side. One year scholarship and everything settle in less then a week. She’s all ready for the new school NOW.

It is amazing when I think back, that just when we know we are at the end of the road and knowing that we have no left or right to turn to. It’s the end, full stop. All our efforts gone into waste, God is not answering our prayer, we are doom, finish, done !

BUT every so often, just when we are to give up on EVERYTHING, that we have put so much of our efforts into making it possible and thinking that that’s it. Realize it or not, we are almost always being thrown a new light ! Suddenly God answer our prayers, Universe is creating miracles ! We saw there’s a small path hidden behind the wall and a light shines through it !!!

This is not what people say the secret or law of whatever ever … it is PERSEVERANCE and PATIENCE ! The universe or God is ever testing our will power and ability to persevere under ALL extreme circumstances. It is our journey in this universe to be tested over and again so that when we are finally given the sweetness of success we will know how to value and treasure it more then it is just being given to us without any effort spend on it ! Only those who have been through the darkest and dead-end will treasure and value what brightness and . Only those who been to the rock bottoms will treasure and value limits the skies … unlimited !

Then again the question I always ask is, what is OUR limit ? How deep or how long can we allow ourselves goes ? What is our patience and perseverance limit ? Only our hearts know … where we stand !

PRIORITY

I was reading this blog of a new friend whom I have met not too long ago yet I felt close to her and share some of her deep and profound thoughts. She has gone through the darkest of emotions and survive to tell me a very touching experience. Only those who have been there will know how it feels like when they come out of it, rise above the occasion ! 

She had this line borrow somewhere, and it does makes me think for a few minutes too (as it did to her) " Don't let someone become a priority in your life, when you are only an option in theirs. " I do not agree with this tag line. Love is always better then hate. Love knows no boundaries. Though the other person takes me as an option, I will only have fate to blame but I have no regrets on my side. I have live my  love life to the fullest, what is more happier to see that person I love, happy and smiling all the time ? What makes your heart smile ? To love a person unconditionally is the hardest to do and the easiest to say. In a relationship, one will love more then the other , and I always agree that its never equal.. but it could go as near as 45 - 55 but never 50-50. 

Putting that person in your top priority list is not a wrong thing to do,  this will makes you who you are and what your heart feels. It is by giving our all out that our heart will be whole, its only when we fear that we protect our heart and not give fully. It is by loving this way that we did not resent and give our all.

If we put our love as an option then what is love ? That love is an option ? That we are not suppose to love fully ? Love should not have boundaries, no limitations. Love to me should be great and full ! Love should make us whole and not have any restriction. we should go ALL out to love who we seek to give our heart to. Loving this way, putting that person in priority, will make us whole when we know that the first time we see this person it has already make us full !

Express yourself

I was reading Asohan's article in the Sunday Star today, what captures my attention is at the end of his article he wrote " .. pierce your navel and gaze at it, get an earring or a tattoo (assuming you aren’t under-aged, that is), express yourself." 

Now expressing ourself .. in this society where we are living in ? hmmm I have a little doubt. We are, and its sad to admit that however somewhere in any corner of any where in Malaysia or Asia as a whole, being watch ! Constantly living in the eyes of the world. Then again, I do agree that this is what makes us, who we are by expressing ourself freely. We should be living lives that we choose to live and not be bother will be watching us. Because by then we are NOT living, we are just passing this life to another life that is approved by the world ! freedom of speech and freedom to choose our own path; as long as we did no harm to anyone along the way, we are living ! 

Expressing ourself .. there are a few topics that would be sensitive that I come across in the news today. Transvestites, cross dressing are they expressing themselves ? Put aside religion for this matter, if this guy is wanting to be a woman and brave enough to come out, does he have the freedom to do so ? And who are we to judge him ? Why is he not allow to do so ? Did he commit any crime in being who he wants to be ? 

Then again, may be it should be express yourself under the approved eyes of the world ! 

WHO ?

The recent case of a Qantas flight bound for Melbourne has an amazing escape from crashing with 300+ passengers and crew onboard. I was trying to visualize what happens if I am onboard that lucky flight. THAT moment in my life, when I am almost nearing death, when the plane MAY crash and not land safely, who is in my mind at that moment ? What I want to tell him/her ? 

Most the time only when we know that we are NOT going to live through the next hour, that the natural instinct will come and we want to pour out what's deeply rooted in our heart. That feelings of which our heart had delayed in getting it out to our loved. Taking it for granted and delaying the message until the last minute.

How often do we get that chance to walk out alive in such a situation and get to live to tell our loved one ? Very slim chances. But still many would have just take it for granted that we will leave it till tomorrow. I think I am one of those who delay and take things for granted. Am I ? I guess so.  

Now should I really want to put myself .. at that very moment. I have 2 person in mind. To tell my mum that I love her and thank you for being there for me ALL the times, though sometimes silently being there and not asking whether what I do is right or wrong, but by just being there ! The second person, would be my soul mate... my future soul mate ;p That I am sorry I did not live longer than you, and have to you weep over my dead, that I no longer can take care of you, that I no longer can make you that first cuppa coffee in the morning. I love you very much !

TRUST

How many of us give out 100% trust to another person ? Perhaps less then 10 in our entire life ? Some even less, when we are a child we give out 100% trust to everyone that comes across us, that is naivety or pure ? It's purely pure ! We are soooo pure during childhood that our parents and surrounding mold us to become waver of people around us. I use to be vary of people around me, never to trust anyone easily. However over the years, I have learned the many lessons that life had offered and bestow upon me. I trust that if I am offering my heart out now, it will be return with kindness no matter now or in the future. I will not harness any hatred or may be less hate upon a person who had cheat on me. Because I truly believe that I am doing it with my heart full and I am have done my duty as a human and being true to myself. I am ME !

As we grow, we are being shown the numerous faces of human's evil side; cheating, betrayal, hatred, jealousy and many other facets of human. Our head, immediately signal our heart NOT to trust that easily as we grow and experience the many lessons and trials given to us. However when we grow older we become more compassionate and forgiving that we forgives and forget. And when we are old enough, nothing matters anymore as we have been through that and may be done that.. No matter how smart one tries to cheat on another human, it will be re-pay unto them one day sooner or later. What goes around comes around.

Trust in our faith and our heart in what we believe. Trust in ourself ... without trust we will make wars and make enemies. Without trust the world will be a bitter place to live in. Trust that our friends are loyal and honest to us, trust that our partners are true and faithful to us, trust that the universe have its own way and trust that God is listening to us !

Do you trust in yourself to trust people ?

Life's lesson

The 5 scenerios

Scene 1 : I walk down the street and there's a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. It takes forever to get out. It's not my fault.

Scene 2 : I walk down the same street. I fall in the hole again. It still takes a long time to get out. It's my fault.

Scene 3: I walk down the same street. I fall in the hole again. It's becoming a habit. It is definitely my fault. I geto out immediately.

Scene 4 : I walk down the same street and see the deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.

Scene 5 : I walk down a different street.

I read this story some time back and I re-read it again recently in "life is an open secret" ... it reminds me about life's many lessons. That lessons are being thrown to us numerous times, the same lessons until one day we walk down a different street. Lesson learned and time to truly move on !

My questions has always been, how many times do we need to fall into that hole before we realize that it is time to walk down another street ? Some people totally shun their fear and never even walk OUT or step OUT at all. So that they don't have to fall at all. Then again they pass life and they did not live it. BUT for most of us, we keep walking with our heads down and didn't realize that it is the same street that we keep coming back to. The lessons keep repeating until we walk with our heads up and our soul ajar ever ready for what comes next !

Well the universe does have a way of it's own, some of us consciously keep going back to the same street as we want to find out why and what happens along the way, how could we have fallen into that hole. Finding the reasons behind the fall, so that when we do come around the next time we know how to avoid it.

That said, some of us willingly allowing ourself to fall in as we are all human full with feelings and emotions that we are blinded by that temporarily loss of sight that we allow ourself to fall in.

I , do not disagree with the lessons being thrown back and again, because this way we keep preparing ourself for the ultimate destination. The lessons/journeys prepare us for what is next.

Now how many times have you fall into that hole ? or have you choose another street to walk down ? 

* I just walk down that same street and about to fall into the hole again.

PASSION

What drives you on everyday in your life ? Passion is what drives me on in my everyday movements and actions. The burning passion in my heart drives every minute of my waking hours to get it going, to keep the work going and to get the work done as it first sets out to be, that dream !

My passion ? The sea and travel ... I love the mysterious of the innerspace, the peacefulness it offers, the serenity of life beneath. It is ever so silent when we are in one with nature and being apart of it. The other passion that keeps me alive is travel. Life is always a journey of its own, I am traveling in it ever since day one I come to this universe. My passion for the sea had me taking up and committing myself more in this theme's related commitments.

Knowing that we can educate and create awareness to the local communities about their own heritage and to effectively sustain that, I MUST do my part. And it has been in my subconscious mind that I want to do contribute my little effort to the future. And now being a part of CoRal Malaysia, I hope to fulfill this little promise.

And to travel places to meet people, not necessary new but old friends. I always remember one saying, ' No matter how many times you climb the mountain, the experience you gain each time may not be the same'. It is so true that I always love to travel back to places I like and get to visits people, that I have met and are by now one that I can call a friend. Re-visiting old places and meeting old friends will allows me to touch base and not lost from flying too high. Re-connecting and keeping ourself anchor solidly while we keep the passion going.

These are the passions that keeps me going. A dream that I am trying to built by combining both passions into a legend.  Passions drive dreams to come true !

What drives you on everyday ?

LOVE

What is love ? How do we define love ? Is there true love ? Do you believe in love at first sight ? What is the greatest love of all ? Love Love Love .. to love and to love. Everyday, every minute, every corner of the world are talking about love. Love for fellow human, love for family, love for the nation, love for the universe.

Love can bring us out of this world, love can take us to hell, love can transform us to who we are NOT, love also empowers us to be the greatest of human. Love is the generator, our power generator that keeps motivating us to go on and on ... 

Love can be platonic, can be sexual; there are many ways one can define love. Love is a complex word and noun, it is never easily understood. It can get fatal and it can also get heavenly. How amazing love can be.

Yet we are unable to runaway or avoid love. Love gives us butterflies in the stomach, Love makes us flush all RED, Love pumps up our adrenalin, Love makes us blinds and Love keeps us moving and going that extra mile ! Love makes our days brightens up, motivates us mentally and spiritually. Love to me ? Hmmm hard to define, only the heart knows the limits and only time can prove it. As long as it is from the heart, it is real and it is true. Love to me is not about grand actions or great deeds for the other, love is ALL about the little things that we notice about the other, little every day things about the other, little things that we do for the other, the everyday things that you are sharing with the other. Those little things will sum up as the greatest action in your journey together.

Okie what am I writing here ? doh ! no idea .... ahhh what about true love .... so what is your version of True Love ? 

Baby turtle in captivity

I was trying to find a topic to write today, and just as I was to relax after having a day full of activities with 5 kids;  a friend called, G called to tell me to switch to a local Tv program Majalah 3. She said switch it, switch it ... watch it NOW.  I switched and to my horror (jaw drop), 6 juvenile turtles are being transfer from the city, KLCC Aquaria  to the island of Redang by plane for release, after being hatch and kept in aquarium (i called it captivity) for 2 years. They have to endure the stress of being transported from the city to the airport, then to the turtle hatchery centre. WHY ? Why aren't they being hatch in the hatchery in the first place ??? !!

I have never agree to any kind of animal in captivity, no matter how close we model the forest/habitat it is still in captivity. Animals are being that needs freedom to loom anywhere they like in the forest. Be it the rain forest or underwater forest. They belong to their natural habitat. 

These 6 turtles are being raise/kept in the aquarium for 2 years, I doubt of how many eggs it was hatch from ? 100 ? 200 ? or more ? They are being fed, not the natural way of finding food in the open sea. And upon their release in the Malaysian waters, I really doubt how they are going to survive in the open sea without any MEAN of finding food. NO natural SURVIVAL skill AT ALL. And they are already 2 years old now ! Are they going to re retarded kids in the ocean ???? !!!

These turtles should be hatch and raise in their natural habitats ie the beach and sea rather then in the aquarium in Kuala Lumpur , the capital city of Malaysia ! Let them be hatch and release to the sea or raise by the sea side instead in the aquarium !! 

Do Nemo belong to the aquarium or Nemo should be with dad in the ocean ?

Bidung Island, Malaysia

As promised earlier, Bidung Island or Pulau Bidung is located in the state of Terengganu in Malaysia. Bidung I have know this name for a long long time now, like the story goes, those days when we first started doing camping trips to Redang we will take that tedious long boar ride from Kuala Terengganu to Redang via Bidung Island. Every time we passed by the island it gave me a feeling that .. one day in the near future I would like to visit this island and feel what it is like to be living there, to be restricted in this island and cannot leave the island. Bidung is a Vietnamese refugee island.

It was subconsciously embedded in my mind since then that I want to go to Bidung. There are a few occasions that friends from the industry did invite me to go along for some dives, however may be then its not time yet. I was blessed last month with this trip to Bidung Island. It makes my heart full, I was lucky to be there to stay 2 nights, camping out on the beach though I did not sleep inside the tent at ALL, I dislike being inside a tent when I can out in the open.

It's really an untouched island that reminds me of 16 or 17 years back in Redang. Bidung is beyond my words of expression. That also reminds me of the camping days in Redang, I was soooo 'gung ho' to sleep on the beach again in Bidung. It really reminds me of Redang days. The skies are full of stars and I was 'rock' to sleep by the rhythm of the waves hitting the beach. The skies are the blanket ! heheheh nah I'll be in cold if I did, I was in my sleeping bag, all alone on the beach ...

The dives that I did in Bidung was an eye opener. The first dive, I was amazed by the richness the corals are in this site. It also warns me and scare me that if we do nothing now to preserve this island, it will be gone in 10 years, or less. The other site that I went was the underwater gallery that CoRal Malaysia did 2 years back. When I descend to the site, it was WOW ! seeing the keris replicas was very partiotic. There are 5 other replicas, tapak sireh, batu bersurat, tengkolok, perahu payung and pintu gerbang of Terengganu.

I thank the universe for making this trip happens; perhaps it's time now, and I am ready for it ! 

This rascal was soooo feeling at home that he did not even bother what I was doing with him, shooting and shooting. He's less then 4 m from me on the top of the branch, directly above  G's tent. 

Seahorse Slaugther

I was on a dive trip to one of the East Coast island of Malaysia, Bidung Island. Bidung use to be a Vietnamese refuge island in the end of the 80's. I will talk about Bidung in another post, but this time I want to talk about this shocking and sadden truth of Oriental culture about traditional medicine (TM). Seahorse is consider one of the elements for this TM and are in great demand in some places.

Well a friend, G, found this piece of beauty in one corner among some seafood products. Both of us are speechless, and me being the emotional 'cripple' that I am, I was speechless thereafter.

 And to my horrible shock, there are a whole lot hanging out there.

Tolerence

I was reading an article on one of our MP in Parliment today, about a homosexual conduct by an apposition leader. I start to question what is our tolerant level in the community. We see that the world is moving ever faster ahead and we keep talking about reformations, talking about equal right for woman and man, human rights etc etc. BUT when issue of homosexual rises, we still see that IT is being attack.

Worldwide, it is getting more and more tolerated as a choice, an individual choice to live the life they want it to be and NOT in the eyes of the world. We as individual being called human, have the ability to think and act our way. As long as we do not do bad upon a fellow human, we did not disturb the peace of the community, we do no harm to the world; why are we not left alone to live our lives as we want it to be ?

Do you live in the eyes of the world ?

FEAR

At any moment in our life, we are constantly in fear. Fear of taking the risk on failure, fear in stepping out of that comfort zone to face what's next. Fear of the unknown, fear of what the future consequences may be, then again if we don't seek the first step we don't know whether if its a failure or success.

Well it is well said to that action is the best method to face fear. Taking the action towards fear is to move beyond fear. To take that little step in getting out of fear by our action.

Fear derive from our mind when our heart wanted to move on, the head is sending a signal telling us to WATCH OUT ! it may be danger out there, not safe ! By taking that action from the head, we STOP ! and hence denying our heart what we are feeling even though IT IS what we are feeling. To recognize that feeling, should we tell our head to stop thinking and worry less ? No way we can do that, its so natural that we may not even notice that the mind is playing the natural guardian to our feelings. Immediately asking us to put a stop before we step out.

Fear, what are you afraid of NOW ?