another journey ....

Through out my career I have had many journeys, some to new destinations some re-visiting. Every journey have its own lesson in it. Just 6 days back, I started another. My planned journey, Jakarta, Labuan Bajo (Komodo Island) and Bali. And who I'll be meeting is not known. Meeting new people that's for sure, new experience with a group of 16 - 20 people that's for sure. And having a room mate that I don't know who will be another experience.

When I start my journey last Thursday, my mind was all over; on the extra baggage that I need to carry for Mr Sim, on the people that I will meet at the show, on how to capture more sales. But the moment I am in the departure hall, all these flies away; I told myself to open up for what may come, and allow it the freedom to flow in.

I was glad that this time the group of buyers are more friendlier then the last, mainly I think is because most of us are from Asia, I mean residing in Asia as there are 3 white men which resides in Thailand and Taiwan. So they are more or less adapted to the Asia culture. We share quite a lot of jokes, and particularly one Eddie the joker from Taiwan who is also a 2nd time buyer. He did not give me a good impression last year when I misjudge him, thinking he is here more of a seller rather then a buyer.. Anyway, when our flight from Jakarta to Bali was cancel and made us waited for more then 4 hours for another flight; we had the chance to really slow down and get into some light hearted chats and sharing of experiences. Eddie allows me to see a different side of him or put it that I see another side of Eddie when he was talking about his daughter the precious. He and his wife had been trying for years and due to the fact the his wife is a diabetic makes it even more precious that she is finally born healthy and safe. I can see in his eyes the joy of being whole and complete !! This is Eddie ..

And during this trip, I share room. I was thinking to share or stay single. I have never share room for quite some time now as I was so use to travelling alone and being alone. So I decided to just share ...

And on the first day, as we arrive from various countries of destinations in my list my room mate is a Korean. You know the idea of like how she looks like, is she fun to be with or the snobbish type bla bla bla. And she arrive quite late after we had dinner and I went back to the room, check mails etc ... she came in about 10:30 pm I lock the door so she was taken aback and I open the door for her ! tadaaaa ..... a young girl ? hahahahaha .... and quite fun too ! but being a Korean she does act like one. Anyway Colleen was fun and chatty, but I think she is fresh hence she just maintain her distance on conversation with the rest.  Colleen ....

During our 3rd day on the 13th we were suppose to fly to Denpasar Bali to connect to Labuan Bajo Komodo. However as fate may have it that our flight to Bali was cancel and everything just suddenly turn upside down. All schedule went havoc ... shuttling between terminal 2 & 3, missing 2 members, and waited for 4 hours (we woke up at 2:45 am) for our 7am flight. So much possibilities and uncertainties, we may overnight in Bali, we not end up in Komodo at ALL ! However I leave it to the universe if I am destine to be in Bali or fated to stay in Jayakarta ! The group was so upset when knowing the possibility that they may not end up in Komodo. But fate or some may call it God, I would just say the universe always have a way of its own. It is a blessing that I don't have to overnight on the boat .. so funny ;p

Sometimes if we really allow things to just flow in and not forcing or expecting too much what we will get in return will be much more then we expect. I am more enlighten after this journey as it took us 12 hours from Jakarta to Labuan Bajo when we should be there in 5 hours !! Just let it unfold when you know you have done your best ...

see ... staring

I was watching this drama series and this last scene's quote caught my interest " ... these people here, they actually see me, I use to work in a place where people will stare at me all night long but they never saw me ..."

A lot of times we just stare at things without really seeing them, staring point blank without really seeing. It goes the same we live through our life without really experiencing and learning from what the lessons is for. Most the time we just pass by it and that's it not knowing what it is for.

Most sadly is we just see through a person as if he or she doesn't exist at all in our life. We just ignore them and not valuing their existence in our life .... until we lose them. A lot of people wants our acknowledgements, wants our acceptance but very often we just stare point blank, without any response. It makes me think what is in their mind. What makes these people exists at all ?

It is interesting that we are all control by our brain, nerves and thoughts; physically and mentally but quite amazing that sometimes both doesn't synchronise at all. The mind and physical is not in sync, at that moment are we aware of what we are doing ?

*doh* I don't even know what I wrote just now makes any sense at all. But isn't it amazing ? That we can just stare at someone but we didn't really see their existence in our eyes ?

Is this denial of some sort ? Or is it fantasy in another ? I don't know or perhaps we only want to see what we want and not what we don't. So when people expect us to see them in one way, we see it the other.

Well the quote is from a stripper who just move in to a new neighbourhood and she was realising for the first time in her life that her new neighbours are seeing her as a person rather then staring at her as a stripper !

If we see things out of the box and opens up our mind, the world will be a much better place to be in. I can't say there won't any but LESS discriminations and judging eyes.

Did you see who was staring at you just now ?

waste of time

Suddenly or I should say it has been in my mind all this while and never been able to dissolve or absorb this sentence at all. It is not waste of time. Never is anything a waste of time if we know what we are doing. Only when we do not know what we are doing that we are wasting our time, I know what I am doing so what I did is not waste of time, even if I am half way unsure, I still do not believe it is waste of time.

Anyway walking through life, experiencing what it is without actually knowing where our destiny lies is waste of time; OR is it ? We never knows until the end of time. Is it wasted or is it fully utilize and consume up into a beautiful journey of a lifetime. And it takes tons of courage and perseverance to see it through. And I believe ( start to believe ) that if we keep our faith and hope nothing will be wasted after all.

For me nothing is waste of time, whether you believe it or not, every single trip is a part of our whole journey and every single experience will totals up our complete experience on lessons of life.

I miss you little finger. Every full moon will reminds me of you .... time will not be wasted even if we are  in silent retreat.

perseverance ....

How often we stick till the end of what we started ? I mean people nowadays have a different mind of their own unlike the old school which is being thought to do things step by step and built a solid and stable foundation before we venture out for bigger and stronger branches.

We need to persevere and keep persevering in order to bare fruits to what we sow, we can never sow now when the seed is planted just yesterday ! I watched this local production film this morning. Infact it's not my norm to go out so early just to watch a movie. But I would like to support local production though its just an affordable RM6 for this morning show and today is the last day. It's a good movie and I would say its better then some big budget Hollywood or Hong Kong movie. It is a dream come true for the production team who make it happen and also it had enlightened me about being persevering or Chinese "Kin Chi" (stick to it)

When we have started something we should stick to it till the end no matter what the obstacles are. It is this perseverance that will brings us success rather then the hopping act like frogs that will not bare anything at all. We have to be able to focus our energy and immerse ourself in doing one good thing.

When we plant a seed we have to water it, tend it and trim it, care for it to ensure that no worms will come and destroy it before we see the flower blooms.

I am trying to master this skill of mine ie to persevere in my endeavor of making my dream comes true. I had a dream in fact I have many dreams that I want to fulfill. But for now I am doing it one by one, step by step. And one will lead to the other, it had to be that strategically because we cannot be planting an apple seed expecting a peach fruit !

perseverance persevere ...

life's basic need

I was driving out to work this morning and suddenly heard over the radio a pledge by one of HK's celebrity about an NGO who is helping orphanages around the world, World Vision.

And one specific sentence makes me think what is our basic need I mean our most fundamental need to life ? Can we survive without love ? food ? water ? attention ? care ? What ?? !!

When we read everyday over news on people's attempting suicide, commit crimes, dramatic about love and relationship have we ever thought ... take a minute and think about what is the most important and basic of our need ? If those that we are fighting over, tearing our relationships apart are more important then this basic need I think we are really immature in and little. We never sees the bigger picture, or we will never ever see ?

Without water and food, we can never move any step ahead nor think and strategies for future. If in the present we can starving, we can have no tomorrow. This is the most fundamental of our daily need, to get the energy for the battle ahead ! Even it is just bread and water .. it is still energy provider. It is what we need to keep alive and keep our dreams moving. Without such we are going no where ..

Do you agree ?

dream, dreaming, dreams

My mind had been in a blur lately, I know something is boiling but I don't know what it is .. I had also wanted to find a topic to write but none came into mind either. My mind is on a certain person as well as a certain subject but I can't seems to visualize what it is. Normally I can, I day dream and I create scenes. But this time I am blur. Or put it that I am blocked.

By what ? I have no idea. And it is 5 days to Chinese New Year, the year of Metal Tiger. A year that is tough and hard .. but with perseverance I am sure even the hardest metal can be melted and shape. I try to feel what is my heart feeling now about things but I can't. Things seems to be taking a break, taking its own sweet time.

I have been mulling quite alot too lately, on dream, dreaming and dreams. When we dream, we gives ourself hope, a vision and faith to carve and pursue something that we want. When we dream all our conscious and sub conscious mind and body will work in sync towards that powerful force of making it real. And I have been trying to focus and find out what my dream is ... I want to dream big ! So my mind is juggling on what makes my heart whole and complete ? What is that ?

So have you been dreaming lately ? And what is that ? A life live without dream is like a journey without destination. Where lies your destiny ?

Bangkok ... Shanghai ...

* I have been non stop traveling the last 2 weeks back to back. and many things came to me when I was on the road but I have not been able to sit still and alot time to write, so here it is the aftermath of both trips, where I did try to start but unable to finish*
Last weekend in Bangkok was full of emotions running high and low. I was expecting to meet someone but didn't get to meet. When we start to expect things, most the time it will end up unexpectedly. And when we did not expect it, it will some how end up interestingly.

I was reading this nicely written book that I pick up from a second hand store .. I like especially these quote " We cannot write in water.. we cannot carve in water. waters nature is to flow an that is how we should treat life.. emotions, negative or positive. Do not deny it but always let it flows and then away" this is a very good phrase, we shouldn't deny our feelings no matter negative or positive.

And I think with or without consciously aware of the outcome; I am accepting the outcome as it is, I have learn to go with the flow. Over the years, I have been struggling so hard, swimming against the flow, going against the current and trying to fight with all my  might of what I want the result to be. But this had made me a much weary and tire warrior. The now me had learn to let go and go with the flow instead. If its not meant to be, accept it and let it flow through rather then blocking the flow. It will only swell up with bigger resentment.

Continues after my Suzhou / Shanghai ... while I was in China last week I do not have the privilege of staying connected. And it feels like being shunned from the outside world which can be frustrated sometimes. But in other way it's kinda de-tox from all the addictions that the cyber space can give us. Every day and night, no every minute and second we are all connected to the world being in touch so call with the latest news from around. And that makes us so up to date, then again it also makes us to be addicted to the cyber world rather then being in the moment !

While I was on this social network de-tox, I begin to start living. Feeling the rhythm of life and also the momentum of being rather then keeping in mind to log into facebook, blog, or twitter ! Or perhaps this is only me ? Have you ever gone for once cyber de-tox for a week ? TRY .. perhaps its good for you to pause for a moment, do some other real social networking, in person in the moment. Back to reality being human rather then cyber.

Off the record and topic, I was jokingly commenting on HOCC's profile picture in fb and was so surprise to see that fans bombarded me with so many comments of being irrespectful and talking bad about their idol. Now its dumb me of not remembering that she had a lot of fans who are crazily and overly idolizing her. This I sympathize HOCC for being a celebrity who have not much privacy but lotsa publicity's. And it makes me wonder, what kinda life that could be ? To be always in the limelight, just like a dive buddy of mine. Being with her in the public can be a little pressure when the attention and fans attack can be shocking at times. Anyhow, no worries no sweats .. its all part of the game and part of the rule !!