some random pics from my recent trip ...

mataking island's ship wreck ... Jee, Martin, Ed, Jan and ME ! !

Ed descending the wreck... my camera wasn't the high end one, so I fail to capture the silhouette, yet this is one I like most ^_^

Nemo is always the cutest fish around and I saw this white anemone in South Point Sipadan ! its the perfect match of color contrast ...

Nudibranch my favorite object from the sea !

I have more but these are those that I like most ... feast your eyes la !

Thai food in Mataking !

Well here's my recent encounter with friends from Bangkok who goes on a diving holiday to Mataking Island ( I will post another blog pictures on land and underwater)

Here's is Jum with our Malaysian chef working on fried keow teow ala Thai.

And here is Koi babysitting little Milan, they were at the jetty just went we surface from the house reef ...

This is very very nice northern Thai delights which I don't know the name .. it consist very basic and simple ingredients, erm I don't know whats the leaf is well there's onion, ginger,fried peanut, dried shrimp, tamarine sauce and of course chilli

Jee preparing the 'leaf'

And again Jee preparing the Thai dip sauce which consist of chillies, garlic, lemon/lime, fish sauce, sugar; its for our 7kg mantis shrimp cooked with salted and chillies ! duh I forgot to take pictures of it as its just too tempting and I go straight in !

Well here are just some of the food prepare by my Thai friends, and I just love to travel with them ! Its always food, food, food and more food ! !

finding home

I always travel to places that I have been before .. only occasionally I venture out to new places. Reason being when I like a place I want to go back again and again to truly see the culture and people. I want to know and understand a place in depth. What changes have it gone through, as I grow how had the place growth !

May be its my nature that I can never settle down in one place for long and travel is one of my passions. Then again when I travel I always forget myself, may be a hope of finding HOME. But I think all these years I have got it the wrong way, HOME is where the heart is. And that I have not been able to find my heart that I constantly travel and get out of the norm. I have not really stop and allow myself space and time to find HOME !

I know this very well and even advises a friend that she is lucky for finding HOME away from home. This I can't advise myself. Deep down I have always wanted to find HOME, and have been searching and looking all my life to find it.

And this time, my heart is really heavy to leave. I will be away for 10 days, before this I will always look forward to get out, get away and be free. But now, this weary traveller is getting half hearted to leave, too tire and are seriously having changed my thinking that I am looking at settling down. I have tried searching high and low all my life for that someone that can tie me down, for where HOME is, but am too afraid to be tie down and gets committed. Fear ... but perhaps with all the weariness and lessons learned before this I am more prepare to allow my subconscious to dictate and help me set forth my next journey ... of finding home.

May be age does makes a whole lot of difference when we go through life's many stages and levels, we learn we grow we become who we are not ... we mellow we change like fine wine we age !

which way ?

You see that it is wrong and you have to do something, but what can you do ? You can't do much to change it. Then again you have do something, so that it will not turn tragic. So that it will not create a bigger problem in the future, everything is a cause and effect. If we can see how things end up we will do our best to prevent it. Because prevention is always better then cure. And most often when it had happened cure is of no help, because it had already happen; the cure would only be either find away to get over it or leave it ! So before that happens shy don't you prevent it ?

Its funny, the last two days I had been dreaming of my mom, things that is related to her sickness and death ! I don't know why, may be I have yet to overcome her death and I miss her a lot. I did not dream of her directly but things that is related to her. How could I had miss seeing the signs that she is so sick and had cancer. How could I have miss seeing the signs and thought that its just normal coughing ! I wonder how long I will need to overcome this fatal mistake of blindness in me, failure to take good care of her ! and when she is not around, I find that my responsibility grows, I had always be the big sister overlooking my younger brother. The shoulder is getting heavier.

I guess I can feel how parents feel when they want the best for their kids, just that they often forgot that there are certain ways that will is better then what they think should be.

Most people will say that this is the best way for them, but have they really see or listen clearly that there is no best way at all. Everything that we do we must always remember, do it with your heart and not be blinded by it. Once our heart is blinded, we hear nothing we see nothing, all we see is evil and all we listen is anger ! If that is what we see and hear, then most often that is not the best way at all and its the only way to self destruction.

So which is your way ? My only way is by using my heart to lead me to the best way.