Not rushing

coming into 2024, 7 years lapse since is last wrote. many things passed, many things changed, many many incidents of ups and downs. 

the passing of a very good friend, the challenge of careers continues, the rise and falls of many things, the lost of my beloved brother, the losses one have to endure in life. 

Yet despite all above, continue to keep walking, I am always slow to reach taking my own sweet time and enjoying every step of the hard and soft process of life. Not rushing, not pushing and always trust that karma will pays you what you had sowed.

when trust is broken, try to forgive and learn from the mistake of mistrusting; not allowing to be cheated again. their choice to cheat, out of desperations or nature, they too will pay for what they sowed. the process of life will be different for everyone of us, some will goes through it when they are in their 30s some in their 40s or maybe 50s; some are still not able to rise up even when they are in their 60s. Every one have a choice and that choice is all about every own intelligence .. no one correct syllabus or formula even. 

coming to 55, i have had a very hard 35 years of career as well as personal life. a little tire, trying to figure out whats next. as some of the times during the past 55 years on earth, one of those times, as my best friend says "try to find back the passion, soul searching" time.

i must admit that i lost the interest or urge to pen, maybe because of the change of times. Less and less papers, no journal book, no reading with books on hand. Hence less writing, and less inspirations.

Greed

Greed brings out the best in human

Greed allows us to see the other side of human

Greed inspire human to progress beyond our comfort zone

Greed encourages human to progress

Without greed human will still be leading life without iphone or Samsung, travel the world in boat or maybe raft; clad in leaves and uses spears to hunt for food.

Without greed we will not have high rise building and social media like this blogspace

Some call it greed, some call is advance, curiosity, what ever names you call it

it is a cycle, when we are born we are pure, as we growth, we are expose, and once we are exposed, we look back, and we want to be pure again. clear off whatever contaminations we have had ...

such is the journey of been there, and back.

Greed in which angle you see, contribute to the progress of mankind ! But once we experienced it, do we still want to be greedy ?

Yours to ponder.

Repetitive

I read and copy the below few years back....

you walk down the road, you accidentally falls into the hole, you quickly climb back up

you walk down the same road again, and it was dark, not knowing, you fall into the hole again... dust off yourself and quickly climb back up

this time you saw the road from afar being cautious you know the hole is there yet you still falls into it, this time you blame yourself and force yourself to climb back up

you make yourself falls into the hole again and refuses to climb back up .. you just sit there !

Reverse

I am really lost for word to describe the current situation. it took me a long time decide to step out of the comfort zone and move on. Just when I thought that this zone is comfort, the next day it turns out to be the battleground !

Just when I thought that it is safe and that it is growing at a healthy level, it is dying. Pre mature ending. And it makes me wonder, if I had not step out; what will it be for me ? Could be better, could be worse. It won't be the worst ever, then again.

It's just I am flabbergasted by the sudden change of situation. Just too overwhelming for me to absorb. Yesterday, I am relieve that it is on good hands. But today, it was transfer to another hand ! No warnings, No signs.

How amazing things just reverse and make a 180 degree turn ! It doesn't really affects me anymore as I had stepped out.But the heart feels sad, something that was develop with much efforts and passion was not allow to see the harvest; pre mature ripens being snatch away.

I won't bare grudges to the person who snatch the fruit but I blame the person who own the tree. We are just the farmer who work tirelessly to trim, nurse and water the tree hoping that one day we get to share the fruits.

Reverse, who would have predicted ? I am angry, I am feeling hurt, I am in another way relieve I wasn't caught in between.

What tomorrow brings, you'll never knows.

Cherish what today gives you with open arms.

The journey continues ...

A consultant told me before that she says every one of us are repeating a cycle in our life journey and that 10 years is the cycle. What happen now is similar to what happens 10 years ago; unless we rise above the situation and move on, the cycle will keep repeating itself and we will never learn and understand what the hidden lesson is.

As my journey continues, I had chosen a foreign path. 10 years ago, I did chose a rather different path from what I was doing before. Now I chose again, a path that is not familiar in my working life. But will often come across. Standing in the cross road for a while; I was mulling and looking at every corner trying to find a familiar spot; but things are getting even more blurry.

I live to challenge my ever curious soul, to always try something new in the related field of Tourism. I always say I am a Tour and Travel person. I want to try all jobs that is related to it. I however overstayed in in my hobby of exploring the undersea. Then again .. that journey is as beautiful as it is and still a never ending journey, of which I find it ignites my passion in another way.

My journey continues, as in all of us, to the unexpected. The courage to step out of the so comfort zone into the unknown; had always been my soul. Always trying to find the light at the end of the tunnel. I am now counting on days when I will finally hit the ground running. I am always well planned and playing out what to expect tomorrow. I had always want to control the whole situation by analysing every angle and seeing things from the top with my bird's eye view. But this time I am clueless, and trying hard to learn new things everyday. Passions drives me on.

It was a real challenge to stepping out of that comfort zone. In the transition now, asking myself what had I got myself into ? Counting down the days was both scary and exhilarating at the same time. Not knowing how I will cope, not knowing how I will fair. Most of all, the heart is mixed. It was rather a heart over head decision. That I will not regret doing but will certainly regret if not doing.

At this stage as the journey continues, whatever I do now I do what my heart feels. There is just too short in time to mind over what the head is thinking. There will be people who says you are stupid in doing this, but what had my action gotta do with your head ? There is no need for acknowledgments of sort if at the end of the day I am able to face my creator with open arms and open heart.

As the journey continues, I hope to achieve what the heart felt is right rather then worry over what the head is conspiring against.

So the journey continues ...

between then and now ...

Been a long time since I write, a very long hiatus indeed. So many many things had transpire and evolve since then (3 year back)

In between then and now, a short 3 years had many changes as I was trying to figure out what would this topic be; I came out with many but just too many.

I had my dream comes true, twice

I am able to come back from being broke

I walk away from death

I met someone

I also lost someone

I made another vow

Too many things happened to this ever weary warrior. The journey is still as fabulous as ever. And I am hopping for more spectaculars to come, the journey is not ending anytime soon. It can only made one wiser and growth more wisdom.

Being in a different perspective and having new eyes in every time we are face with consequences.

Something is now boiling inside me that I can’t explain. Maybe these things that is happening brings me to a still. Of life and death, of beginning and ending, of love and hate. These are the ever opposites that will always attracts each other to the other.

The fast will always be attracted to the slow, the slow will be fascinated by the fast as they both compliment each others. You hate to love because you love so much so that you hate it. If it doesn’t end, you will never begin another. Within me now is the space between, the space between there and now, in that emptiness. I have asked numerous times, what am I feeling now ? What is the very reason of my existence and purpose ?

Can you answer that ? Seeking new eyes …

be careful what you wish for

I just realise that I have not been blogging for more than half a year now, and time really flies. I tried and tried so hard to allows my heart to feel again, to be in the feeling of what is happening in my environment, but my mind is so actively protecting it, to allow it to flow freely.

Recently I made a wish. The wish comes true, but it comes with not what I expects it to be. Many times when we wish, we may get it but most the times it comes with additional. When you wish for love, you may get love but that love could be a fatal attraction. When you wish for money that money may comes with a great loss. Most the time wishes do comes true, but how we interpret it, is what makes us believe that wishes don't comes true !

Most the time what we wish, we already have, we never see it from a different perspective. Because we are so focus on that particular thought that is playing in our mind, we often never seen it that it had come true. I just realise it, it has come true but ...

When we see it from a different angle, that wish could have been there all along.

I made 2 wishes, I am trying to feel their presence now. I don't regret over what I wish for but will try to enjoy them as much as I can. Because it is what I have asked for and this is what I will have. SO I will wish for more now *evil creeping up* hehehe ^_^

A person can never stop wishing and dreaming, for these are the light that will keeps us going. Talk about keep going, I had a sudden moment over the weekend. People with passion and commitment, determination and believes, having faith and keep walking, will one day succeed. Nothing come easy, easy things don't lasts !

had your wish came true recently ? Mine did and it is making me a little confuse ...